Well here we are again. We have been talking about Kelly's job possibilities...meaning places he might apply, what that would mean in terms of where we live, what if he was gone a lot....
I keep telling him it doesn't matter because I'm alright. No more getting sick, at least not badly.
So about 2 am, I go to bed. Get out of chair, walk to bed room, lay down (lie down?), start gurggling, run to the bathroom and bleed for quite a while. After a few minutes, seemed like a lot of minutes, Kelly came in, got my 02 and my water. I kept telling myself not to panic. It was not the same as the other, I could still breathe even though there was blood, I was not going to pass out, I was going to be fine. When Kelly came in I just shook my head yes. He put his hand on my back and I knew he was feeling to see how bad it was. As it slowed down, I just sat in the front room for a while, was afraid to lie down. Kelly slept on the couch. Then I went to the bedroom and sat up reading. Finally, I don't know when, I started to slowly inch my way down and got to go to sleep.
It is such bad timing, I didn't want Kelly to worry about me when looking for a job. I want him to do what is best for his career, not what is best when he's worried about me. This is so frustrating.
I had a dentist appt this morning. I didn't go, didn't call, I don't care. I have to go back, my teeth are a mess! But I was afraid of how they lie you down so far that you feel like you're on your head. All I needed was to bleed at the dentist office. Had other things to do today, but I'm just taking it easy. A little picking up, I need to run a few errands, but mostly sitting pretty still.
As Kelly put it, just another day in the life of a CF'er.
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1 comment:
Sept21
Just stay strong in staying strong. We don't really know each other but we share a lifestyle, only its my daughter whos got the cf. I don't really know what its like, but please remember that theres all kinds of people out there praying for you. It must seem impossible sometimes, it does here! but there is always a repreive from the craziness when it gets too bad too handle-something crazycool always comes up. Here hopin for crazycool for you, like now. Oh and don't worry about if people get annoyed if you cant find a minute to let them know stuff...i find people don't have a grasp on schedules that differ from theirs, and we should all be more understanding. When you get this you may be out of the hospital (i saw you somewhere else and came on the link). Hope it wasn't too gruesome. yuck !!
I, personally find great comfort in my husband, his streingth and depth of foundation astounds me. i am glad you have someone supporting you like this-not everyone is blessed in this way.
i hope you are feeling better. i will be praying for you.
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