Today was the funeral of Catharine Martinet. It was a Catholic funeral mass. It was nice but I found it to be a bit impersonal. But even with that I couldn't stop crying. It was very interesting that they had Jewish readings for Catharine, as they said she was very proud of her Jewish heritage. They also served Matza as the communion wafer. I was really happy that a Catholic church would make that concession. The priest was also a close friend of the family and it seemed that he struggled with the idea of doing her service. But he did a wonderful job.
At the end of the mass they had Catharine's best friend speak. I learned a lot about Catharine from her and it only made me wish I knew her better. Also two of Catharine's cousins spoke. They seemed more real and sad about losing "little Cathy" as they called her. They spoke of an intelligence and humor that I only was able to see glimpses of. I still can't believe it is real.
After the service I got to speak with her parents, Ken and Peggy. They are both still in shock I think. Her father said they just couldn't believe it. That in just a few house she would have had her transplant. When her mom hugged me...really hugged me and held me, I just sobbed. She said she's been doing the same thing, that she can't believe this has happened. I wish so much that I could make it all better for them.
I saw Ray at the service, he was with her parents. But we didn't see him after. It may have just been too much.
We did see Judge Lance Ito. He performed the wedding service only just over two months prior. He looked very sad. There had to be 300 people there. Catharine was such an inspiration to people she met. There was just something about her that made you want to be in her circle. Apparently many others felt this way too. Outside they had areas set up with food and cool drinks and a few tables scattered around. That seems much easier than having to have all those people at your home when the last thing you really want to do is serve or entertain or clean up after them.
It was a hard day for Kelly and I. I'm so glad he went with me. He had to go to work this morning for an emergency and I wasn't sure if he would make it but he did. I would have been a real mess without him there. I'm so glad he is my rock. I wish Catharine and Ray would have had more time together.
Cystic Fibrosis...such a cruel disease. It takes so many before their time. It breaks up families, drains you of your money, your energy and your hope. At the end of the entire service, the priest ask us to all take a deep breath for Catharine. It was a beautiful sound.
If you'd like to see pictures of Catharine and learn a little about her, go to www.cathymartinet.com
About Me
- Carol S--CF girl
- I'm a 40 something year old woman with Cystic Fibrosis. I am married to a wonderful man named Kelly and we have two crazy cats that we love like our kids.
4 comments:
Carol,
Sometimes you have to endure the death of a good friend, grieve, and go on with your own life. Keep Catharine in your heart. I had to do this long ago with my best friend. Keep Kelly and the kitties close today for comfort.
Love,
Cousin Merle
Oh, Carol,
I've just been visiting Cathy's webpages, looking at the wonderful photos, reading her beautiful writing, and am so struck by her vibrant, intelligent, loving heart. The world has lost a beautiful being, indeed; and family and friends are understandably experiencing wrenching sorrow. I pray her spirit breathes though each and every one of you ...
Love, Kim
Saturday was a hard day. It actually stared on Friday for me. We lost a major server at work putting all work to a halt for over 100 developers. As the Lead, all attention was on our team to bring the network back up. So on Saturday I tried to go in and work more on the problem. It shortly became obvious that I would have to wait until Monday. This presented an ethical dilemma. See, the truth is, I really didn’t want to go. I had an opportunity to stay at work and not go to the funeral. But as I thought about it I felt like a coward. I always talk about courage. Time to do a little walking.
So I locked up and drove home in time to change. We arrived early and went to McDs to eat. When we went back the parking lot had started to fill up. We tired to sit in the back out of the way. Not today. The place was completely full by the time it started. It was a good service. I almost lost it while the two cousins were sharing.
Afterwards, we stood in line to give our respects to Ken and Peggy. This was the hard part, waiting. Just as we got in front, some people thought it was ok to cut in line and walk in front. I was worried for Carol. She tends to not have much patience for people like that and was close to breaking down. But we made it through ok. I felt like an ass when I shook Ken’s hand. See I hadn’t seen him in two years. For some dumbass reason I said, “good to see you again”. What a thing to say.
I looked at Peggy after her and Carol finished hugging. Our eyes met and without saying a word we knew what each other were thinking. We didn’t say a word to each other directly but as far as I’m concerned, we spent an hour talking in that brief moment in time. I was able to tell here that I understood that her life was going to feel empty now. And she was able to say to me she knew the road was going to get harder for me. In my mind, we held each other and cried for a long time and when we broke eye contact, I walk away feeling a little bit better.
I will miss them
#1Fan
Carol,
The loss of your friend was not in vain. You have shared with us her greatness, what a blessing she had in you to be her friend.
Stay strong, Love Jeri
Post a Comment