Yesterday

Yesterday was the best day I've had since, well... since. I genuinely felt good and happy. Not in a manic way like "I'm going to be happy if it kills me". But I felt centered, grounded and focused. I thought I'd just share that with everyone because the last post seemed kind of bleak. I am amazed ever day about this process of loss. The process of losing love is equal to having it. Simply amazing. For me anyway. From what everyone says, it's different for everyone.

Some of you may or may not know that a friend of mine died six days after Carol. I am very close now with his wife, Jess. In all of this, it is nice to know I'm not alone with the loss. We talk and hang out a lot. For awhile we thought about getting T-Shirts made that say "It sucks to be Us." I was told about a service called the Grief Recovery Institute. I looked it up and checked it out. I talked to Jess about it and we both signed up. It is for three days in Sherman Oaks on the 22 June. We both are committed to getting through this. We both don't want to be the person who 5 years later, can't walk down a Hallmark isle in a food store. We both want to continue living life and enjoying everything it has to offer.

I've been exercising, sleeping better, praying, meditating, writing in a journal, and staying close to friends. I'm not sure which one is working to help me so I think I'll keep doing all of it. My gratitude goes out to everyone who has called, email, and come over to check on me. I may not return your call but know that it helps a lot.

Well, I'm not as good as Carol at blogging but I try.