Part II, The good news or the Bad news

Ok, if you haven't read the good news, do that first. It's a much better read!

So while all that good stuff was going on....as I said, I really was feeling so much better. On Tuesday night Sharyn and I decided to go to Target. I wanted to check out the clearance Easter candy and Sharyn needed a pair of shorts. She packed warmish clothes and it got pretty darn hot this week. So off we went for a very quick shopping trip. And boy was it short. We no more walked in the store than I could feel that weird sensation, but I couldn't tell for sure if it was just crud moving around because I was walking or if I was bleeding. I went to the bathroom and I started bleeding in a big way. All of the stalls were full so I had to just grab paper towels and was coughing up blood in them..towel after towel. I was so mad, I had to squat down on the floor the coughing is so harsh and it hurts me so much, in my stomach still, not my chest. I was so mad because I finally felt almost like myself again, and there I go again bleeding. My surgery was exactly 3 weeks ago from the Target event. I was also so mad becasue there were these two women standing in the bathroom waiting for their 5 children, who took up all the stalls, and they just stood there staring at me. No one ask if I was ok, no one tried to get their kid out so I could have a stall and they saw me trying the doors so they knew I wanted in. By the time a couple of kids came out, I was coughing too much to move around, so then kids then stood there and stared at me too.
It's so humiliating as well as angering. Don't know if that is good grammar, but I was pissed.

I finally left, the women and kids were still in the bathroom and I wanted to get out even though I was still bleeding a little. Luckily Sharyn was in the isle a ways up and saw me so I waved her down and we left immediately. Of course the bleeding stopped but I just cried. I'm so tired of this.
Later that night at midnight, I had another very small bleed.

Wed. The 19th was my doctor appt. My doc was not happy that I didn't call or go to emergency on Tuesday. But I didn't want to. She wanted me to have surgery again right away, but I said no. I really want to wait and try to get healthy again, at least a little bit, before I have surgery again. I wonder if I wouldn't be having such a hard time if I hadn't had the last surgery when I was already sick. So she said ok, but she'd call the surgeons so if I came in to ER they would be up to date on what is going on and be ready for me. I also had to promise her I'd call if I had any more bleeds. She told my aunt that I always tell her stories, but never call when things are happening. So I promised to call but assured her I was not going to bleed any more!

On the way home from the hospital we picked up Kelly to have lunch so Sharyn could see where he worked. After that we were supposed to go to the cousin lunch so we could have krispy kream cake I had been raving to my aunt about. (Cousin Carrie makes it....Almost as good as stale peeps, tee hee) So we get Kelly, go to a little Philly Cheesesteak place and sit down to eat and...you guessed it...bleeding again. Sharyn ran to get the key to the bathroom for me and we went in to bleed. Sounds like medievil torture!! This time a medium amount I guess. All I can say is SHIT
We went home and I just needed to sit so no wonderful cake and company. I called the doctor and left a message. She called later while I was asleep and told Kelly to tell me not to do anything. I'm basically on chair restriction. I'm having a really hard time with that, but I'm tired so it's not completely hard. And that's the scoop. Just waiting. Not much else I can do.

My aunt left Friday afternoon. It was so quiet when she left I didn't know what to do. I got used to her and the dogs really quickly. Hi Sharyn!! Miss you.

Today was the Cystic Fibrosis Family Education Day at the hospital where I go. I was asked to be on the adult panel and you all know how I love to talk so I said ok. I did it last year and it was really fun. But we got there and I just didn't feel good. We only stayed about an hour and I told Kelly I wanted to leave. I talked to the doctor and he checked my pulse, my color, blah blah blah and said I seemed fine. Sorry, I feel like I'm gonna pass out. So we left. I came home and slept for 4 hours. Maybe I was just too tired, and was running a temp again.

If anyone knows of a magic spell to make me feel more energetic and alive, let me know. Voodoo anyone? Rain dance? Hmmmm

Guess I'll go take another nap. Told you you should have read the good day!