Sunday, March 12, 2006

what death teaches you

Hi, My name is Carol. I'm a 43 year old woman and this is my first blog. My wonderful hubby set it up for me cuz he knew I'd never figure it out! I've been trying to figure out what to put on this blog. How much truth to put in it, how much flowery stuff. But tonite I've been thinking, that people who are around death more than others learn so much about life. As a person with Cystic Fibrosis I have lost more than my share of friends to this disease, tho not as many as others. I have also lost my parents, many aunts and uncles, cousins...the list goes on. But it is having CF and knowing many that do, watching many die and knowing it is coming my way much too soon that has taught me what in life is so important; loving is so important, forgiving is important and knowing that time isn't infinite is important. Knowing that you don't have forever to make up with that friend, knowing that you don't have forever to make a difference. Love with all your heart even if it ends in tragedy as it will still be worth it. I know I'm in this mood because I jsut watched "Crossing Jordan" and there was a lot of death tonite. They each had to see a therapist because of the situation and deal with many deep thoughts. and it got me to thinking. Sometimes I'm afraid because I love my husband so much. I'm afraid to be without him and I'm afraid to leave him alone which will more than likely be the case. But even with all that I love...every day I love him more. I think many people with CF or other "terminal" diseases are capeable of love in a way that others are not. Others don't see the point in setting things right, they'll do it later. Or they are just down right mean and don't seem to feel an apology is in order. They don't love or live fully, feeling all emotions. People with a time clock ticking in their head try to do it all now, try to live as if...
So what I'm trying to say with all this rambling is get out there, tell everyone that you know how you feel, don't put off doing the little things that will make someone else happy, it will make a difference. Use the china, drink from the crystal, spill on the couch...ok, don't do that, tee hee.
But you get my point. Ok, lecture over. I'll watch a funny show next time, K?

Carol a person who wants to live


Anonymous said...

Read Carol's words and then read them again. What a great message for everyone because you never know what's going to happen to those you love, you may not have time to clear the air or say good-bye. We should stop and really think about what people are saying, think before you react and don't say or do things you might not be able to take back. As I tell my pre-schoolers: Take care of yourself, it's a full time job!". Honor Carol by living the words in her first blog post everyday that is how she can live on in each one of us.

Julie Roberts-Fronk said...

It has been such a privelege to get to know Carol through the people who love her. She witnesses to the power of love; her life is a witness to the power of love. I am inspired to extend myself farther for the sake of building a different world, which, as a person of faith, is my call. I thank God that Carol made the world a different world, a better world by the way in which she lived and loved in it. (i'm the minister presiding at her service.)

Anonymous said...

I read these words the first time around without knowing Carol well or the way she lived her life. Reading them again now... I realize that she did live her life just as she was encouraging others to do. Thanks, Kelly, for posting that. What a gift... then and now.

Anonymous said...

Well, little cousin, saw you for the last time last night here on earth. Will catch you later on in the Next Place. Love you much and will still be talking to you and thinking about you often, especially in the midnight hour, our special time.

Bye for now, Cousin Merle