Nope, not Thanksgiving, that was last Thursday. I am going for my transplant eval this Thursday. I'm so stressed. I don't actually think about it and stress out, but I've had insomnia for a week now even with melatonin, valerian root and 3 benedryl. About 4:30 or 5 am, there I am staring at the ceiling and wondering if I should just get up and read or continue to lay there.
So everyone cross your fingers for me, that all my tests say I qualify, but that for now I'm too healthy! Those of you out there reading this, and you know who you are, who has had a lobe removed and are smoking again, stop it! You don't want to do this too. Others of you out there who have no idea what I'm talking about...well, yell at him for smoking! ( and say a little star light start bright...for me!)
Kelly and I were walking this weekend, and this other couple were standing still so we passed them. The guy looks at us then taps his girlfriend and tilts his head our way. She looks and he says that's the most romantic thing I've ever seen. I guess he was talking about Kelly carrying my 02 while we walk. It is kinda romantic. We are literally "tubed" together! But it is also embarrassing! Oh well, at least he didn't say that's sick or something.
Turkey day we went to Lynn's and Denny's. We had boxed dinner from Marie Calendar's. So good and so much easier than cooking from scratch! Lynn had everything ready soon after we got there. I just ate and felt fat..for then and the next two days! I can hardly wait for xmas food.
For those who read this, yes xmas eve is at Lynn's. Invitations will go out soon. We're going to have spaggetti and garlic bread, how's that? And of course everyone needs to bring dessert!
So I guess that's all, just trying to keep up. I am so tired after not sleeping that I don't get much done but I'm trying!
I loved the rain, but want more of it. Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain. Bow to the left , bow to the right...thank you. Good thing you can't hear me!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Yipeee
Well as of December 1st, Kelly will no longer be working in Anaheim. He was offered the job in Azusa, with a raise I might add, and will start on Dec. 4th. I am so so happy for him. His immediate boss is not working this week, so he told the next boss up and the man had virtually nothing to say. He didn't ask why Kelly is leaving, if they can do anything to keep him...nothing. He told about his time at Azusa in the 70's..,,yea so?
I'm just so excited. Drive time cut by over half, a boss that really wants Kelly to be there and close to home in case I need him. Yipee!
I think it will be a perfect fit and from there he can start moving up the ladder. Yes I'm talking in years, but hey, it takes time.
As for me, I'm still trying to get us healthy. Last week I walked 3 out of 7 days. Not too good, but better than usual. I walked 2/3's of a mile on Monday and Tuesday and one mile on Thursday.
Today I walked one mile also. The problem with the walking is I get so tired when I get home I just want to sit. Kelly cooked dinner tonite. We had whole wheat pasta with organic pasta sauce, no sugar, no fats. We also had sautaed (?)mushrooms in Pam cooking spray. I have to say, it wasn't as flavorful as Paul Newman's or mushrooms in butter, but we'll get used to it and maybe doctor it up a bit. I don't know much to cook for dinner that is good for you so I'm just doing a little at a time. Breakfast is easy and I"m not up long enough for lunch and dinner. I make Kelly's lunch and other than his peanut butter, it's a really good lunch. He's also cut his coffee down from about 10 cups a day to 2 or 3. His heart should be happy.
Other than that not much. Having Thanksgiving at Lynn's. We're going the Marie Calander box dinner. We went to the actual restraunt last year and it was really good, so this year we'll have left overs. Guess that day will blow our healthy eating plan right out of the water!
I'll have to walk more!
So now, I have to go iorn. Such a fun life!
I'm just so excited. Drive time cut by over half, a boss that really wants Kelly to be there and close to home in case I need him. Yipee!
I think it will be a perfect fit and from there he can start moving up the ladder. Yes I'm talking in years, but hey, it takes time.
As for me, I'm still trying to get us healthy. Last week I walked 3 out of 7 days. Not too good, but better than usual. I walked 2/3's of a mile on Monday and Tuesday and one mile on Thursday.
Today I walked one mile also. The problem with the walking is I get so tired when I get home I just want to sit. Kelly cooked dinner tonite. We had whole wheat pasta with organic pasta sauce, no sugar, no fats. We also had sautaed (?)mushrooms in Pam cooking spray. I have to say, it wasn't as flavorful as Paul Newman's or mushrooms in butter, but we'll get used to it and maybe doctor it up a bit. I don't know much to cook for dinner that is good for you so I'm just doing a little at a time. Breakfast is easy and I"m not up long enough for lunch and dinner. I make Kelly's lunch and other than his peanut butter, it's a really good lunch. He's also cut his coffee down from about 10 cups a day to 2 or 3. His heart should be happy.
Other than that not much. Having Thanksgiving at Lynn's. We're going the Marie Calander box dinner. We went to the actual restraunt last year and it was really good, so this year we'll have left overs. Guess that day will blow our healthy eating plan right out of the water!
I'll have to walk more!
So now, I have to go iorn. Such a fun life!
Monday, November 13, 2006
What is Blogging good for?
Hmmmm, let's see. Blogging is good for venting, so you don't have to yell and scream, or cry, or rant and rave. Guess that's the same as yelling and screaming. Blogging is good for keeping up with everyone without having to write 45 separate emails, or run up your phone bill.
Blogging is an easy way for people to check on you without them having to email or run up a phone bill. And blogging is a good way to kill time! Which is what I'm doing right now.
So in my last message I ask what is omentum? Well, for all those who wanted to know, it is a tissue type stuff, under the fat on the surface of your belly, under the muscle of your belly, that holds on to fat. It is that look of men who are 7 months pregnant. Hard, round, fat. yick!
I learned about this from Dr. Oz, on Oprah of all shows. I don't usually watch it but I like Dr. Oz so I tuned in. I even recorded it and watched it again with Kelly. I saw the continued story on Discovery Health. And I got the book.
Kelly and I are trying to eat healthy. Lucky for us neither of us has to lose 10 inches around our waist, as the people in the show do, so it's more about eating healthy. The book talks about how it's your waist size that is more important than the scale. For women your waist should be under 32 1/2. For men, under 36. I'll check my facts to make sure that is right. But it's about learning to eat in such a way that you don't have to obsess about eating. About learning to turn on the chemicals that tell you you're full. Did you know Fructose actually shuts that off, so even if you eat a ton of junk with fructose, you'll still think you're hungry? I'm the queen of fructose!
For me, I have to improvise a bit though, because I can't lose any weight. So I am eating a bit more stuff with fat than would be recommended, and yes, even some stuff with sugar. Lucky for me I don't gain a ton of weight, cuz I love sugar. But now I know how to turn it off and not eat the entire bag of marshmallows.
We also have to incorporate exercise. That will be easier for me than Kelly. He hates it. I started today by starting to walk again. I walked 2/3 of a mile, it took me 20 minutes. I'd like to cut that down, but it's the muscles I'm looking for. I'll try to do my girly girl push ups later. I also did a lot of house work today like laundry, and vacuuming the furniture in the front room, cleaning the front room and the kitchen. . So my arms are already tired. I think that's good.
Other than that, not much. May have to start IV's. Feeling a lot out of breath just walking around the house. It makes doing everything harder. But I'm going to persist! I have to call the doc's tomorrow. Looking forward to a funny movie tomorrow, Stranger than Fiction and cousin lunch on Wednesday. Wednesday is also our 9th wedding anniversary...yahoo! Amazing how time flies. I'm so happy to have Kelly in my life, even if he doesn't do house work, hee eheee.
He's kind and funny and he makes me laugh. He takes care of me when needed and listens and goes to get me bananas on the weekends or cotton candy at the computer fair. I couldn't ask for a better guy for me. Love you Kelly! (don't tell my number one fan, he'll be sad)
Blogging is an easy way for people to check on you without them having to email or run up a phone bill. And blogging is a good way to kill time! Which is what I'm doing right now.
So in my last message I ask what is omentum? Well, for all those who wanted to know, it is a tissue type stuff, under the fat on the surface of your belly, under the muscle of your belly, that holds on to fat. It is that look of men who are 7 months pregnant. Hard, round, fat. yick!
I learned about this from Dr. Oz, on Oprah of all shows. I don't usually watch it but I like Dr. Oz so I tuned in. I even recorded it and watched it again with Kelly. I saw the continued story on Discovery Health. And I got the book.
Kelly and I are trying to eat healthy. Lucky for us neither of us has to lose 10 inches around our waist, as the people in the show do, so it's more about eating healthy. The book talks about how it's your waist size that is more important than the scale. For women your waist should be under 32 1/2. For men, under 36. I'll check my facts to make sure that is right. But it's about learning to eat in such a way that you don't have to obsess about eating. About learning to turn on the chemicals that tell you you're full. Did you know Fructose actually shuts that off, so even if you eat a ton of junk with fructose, you'll still think you're hungry? I'm the queen of fructose!
For me, I have to improvise a bit though, because I can't lose any weight. So I am eating a bit more stuff with fat than would be recommended, and yes, even some stuff with sugar. Lucky for me I don't gain a ton of weight, cuz I love sugar. But now I know how to turn it off and not eat the entire bag of marshmallows.
We also have to incorporate exercise. That will be easier for me than Kelly. He hates it. I started today by starting to walk again. I walked 2/3 of a mile, it took me 20 minutes. I'd like to cut that down, but it's the muscles I'm looking for. I'll try to do my girly girl push ups later. I also did a lot of house work today like laundry, and vacuuming the furniture in the front room, cleaning the front room and the kitchen. . So my arms are already tired. I think that's good.
Other than that, not much. May have to start IV's. Feeling a lot out of breath just walking around the house. It makes doing everything harder. But I'm going to persist! I have to call the doc's tomorrow. Looking forward to a funny movie tomorrow, Stranger than Fiction and cousin lunch on Wednesday. Wednesday is also our 9th wedding anniversary...yahoo! Amazing how time flies. I'm so happy to have Kelly in my life, even if he doesn't do house work, hee eheee.
He's kind and funny and he makes me laugh. He takes care of me when needed and listens and goes to get me bananas on the weekends or cotton candy at the computer fair. I couldn't ask for a better guy for me. Love you Kelly! (don't tell my number one fan, he'll be sad)
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Is it Christmas?
I think it is Christmas! I got the best package from my friend Joycie, of, well, a lot of years!
She sent books galore, several of the cutest socks with cats on them, a pen and note paper set and a yoga DVD that she assures me isn't superwoman style, and country music CD's.
Country Music? She must have meant to send that part of the package to someone else! :) But I'll try it out. I just kept taking stuff out of the box, more and more...what did I do to deserve such a great gift?
Thank you so much miss Joycie!!!!
Tonite Kelly and I went to the Cheesecake Factory. Oh my gosh I'm so full. I wanted to go to a kareoke (can't spell it) party tonite but I totally forgot. Kelly reminded me at dinner, of course too late. I asked him why he didn't remind me before this...his evil grin told me why, he didn't want to go. Brat!! I was all ready to sing Black Horse and a Cherry Tree. If I sang too badly I could do it in sign language! I don't know all the words in sign, but no one else would know any of the words so I could fake it! Now I'm too full to do anything.
I had pineapple upside down cheesecake for dessert. Ymmmmm. My blood sugar was in the 300's and hour and a half after eating...oops, bigger shot please. But it was so good. AND, Kelly got me cotton candy at the computer fair today. What a yummy day. I think I'll have to do that yoga about 6 times tomorrow.
So that's about it. They did finally finish the requisition for the job Kelly is trying to get in Azusa. It has to post for 5 days, and he has to apply, then ....who knows what then, but eventually he should have the job! Keep your fingers crossed.
Guess that's all. I sure wish I was bulimic. I'd feel better right now. But tomorrow is another day to work on our omentom. What is that you say? Stay tuned for the next installment to learn what your omentom is.
She sent books galore, several of the cutest socks with cats on them, a pen and note paper set and a yoga DVD that she assures me isn't superwoman style, and country music CD's.
Country Music? She must have meant to send that part of the package to someone else! :) But I'll try it out. I just kept taking stuff out of the box, more and more...what did I do to deserve such a great gift?
Thank you so much miss Joycie!!!!
Tonite Kelly and I went to the Cheesecake Factory. Oh my gosh I'm so full. I wanted to go to a kareoke (can't spell it) party tonite but I totally forgot. Kelly reminded me at dinner, of course too late. I asked him why he didn't remind me before this...his evil grin told me why, he didn't want to go. Brat!! I was all ready to sing Black Horse and a Cherry Tree. If I sang too badly I could do it in sign language! I don't know all the words in sign, but no one else would know any of the words so I could fake it! Now I'm too full to do anything.
I had pineapple upside down cheesecake for dessert. Ymmmmm. My blood sugar was in the 300's and hour and a half after eating...oops, bigger shot please. But it was so good. AND, Kelly got me cotton candy at the computer fair today. What a yummy day. I think I'll have to do that yoga about 6 times tomorrow.
So that's about it. They did finally finish the requisition for the job Kelly is trying to get in Azusa. It has to post for 5 days, and he has to apply, then ....who knows what then, but eventually he should have the job! Keep your fingers crossed.
Guess that's all. I sure wish I was bulimic. I'd feel better right now. But tomorrow is another day to work on our omentom. What is that you say? Stay tuned for the next installment to learn what your omentom is.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Menopause
The play....not the real thing!! My sister and two friends and I went to see Menopause at the little Grove theater in Upland. It was great!! I haven't seen my sister laugh so much in I don't know how long. I could sure tell who has gone thru or is going thru the things they were talking about because they almost blew a gasket at some of the songs. Two rows in front of us there was a man and wife (I'm assuming) and it was almost as funny watching him laugh and watching his wife look at him with that sideways eyebrow up look. All you women know that look!
But the actresses were great, the words to the songs they sang were hilarious, all in all a very fun time.
My friends and I ate at Antonio's first. Yummy food. It's that one on the corner of Vineyard and Foothill. Same parking lot as Bobby Baja's. I will be going back there again. I would say better than Macaroni Grill food wise and definitely better ambiance. Quiet, you can actually hear.
Anyway, that's all I did this weekend. Not much going on this week, the normal appts. and such.
So I guess that's all!
Yes Cambria, I love the comments! And if I have my way we will be at the party Saturday!
But the actresses were great, the words to the songs they sang were hilarious, all in all a very fun time.
My friends and I ate at Antonio's first. Yummy food. It's that one on the corner of Vineyard and Foothill. Same parking lot as Bobby Baja's. I will be going back there again. I would say better than Macaroni Grill food wise and definitely better ambiance. Quiet, you can actually hear.
Anyway, that's all I did this weekend. Not much going on this week, the normal appts. and such.
So I guess that's all!
Yes Cambria, I love the comments! And if I have my way we will be at the party Saturday!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Kelly and the doc
Things turned out well today for Kelly so far. They said by seeing the place in his chest that hurts, it's skeletal? I put a question mark because what does that mean? But at least it isn't his heart. They did an EKG while he was there and did find a slight anomaly. The doctor said normally with it being so small they would do nothing, but with his fathers history of heart disease they are going to do a chest x-ray, a stress echocardiogram and an upper GI test for his heart burn. It has been really bad for years. He takes protonix or nexium whichever our insurance decides to pay for at the time but still has some problems with it. When he told the doctor how much coffee he drank, she about flipped and told him to stop it! At least the upper GI is one where you drink crud then they do an xray or a CT or something. They wanted to do a down the throat tube thing a long time ago, but Kelly was having none of that!
So it looks like things are all ok but he has to start getting in shape. Number one fan, are you out there? Could you come and kick Kelly's tush for me?
As for me, I went to see Marie Antoinette today. I really liked the movie, but the ending. It was very anti climactic. I won't tell you what it is in case you go see it. My cousins Merle and Donna went also. We were all saying we'd never have made it in those times with baths once a month or so, and all the clothes they wore and the hair do's. Oh my gosh. I can't get ready in time now, I'd have never made it then. Of course she had 25 people helping her every day. How annoying!
But looking at Versi sure made me think about my trip to France to see my wonderful friend Joycie. It was so beautiful there and Joyce made it so fun since she already knew where everything was. I wish someone lived in Italy, I want to go there too. Anyone up for moving to Italy or France again, or hmmmm, anywhere exotic? If you do let me know and I'll come visit!
Tomorrow is the cousin lunch, so I've got to try to go to sleep early so I can get my tush out of bed on time. Wish me luck!
So it looks like things are all ok but he has to start getting in shape. Number one fan, are you out there? Could you come and kick Kelly's tush for me?
As for me, I went to see Marie Antoinette today. I really liked the movie, but the ending. It was very anti climactic. I won't tell you what it is in case you go see it. My cousins Merle and Donna went also. We were all saying we'd never have made it in those times with baths once a month or so, and all the clothes they wore and the hair do's. Oh my gosh. I can't get ready in time now, I'd have never made it then. Of course she had 25 people helping her every day. How annoying!
But looking at Versi sure made me think about my trip to France to see my wonderful friend Joycie. It was so beautiful there and Joyce made it so fun since she already knew where everything was. I wish someone lived in Italy, I want to go there too. Anyone up for moving to Italy or France again, or hmmmm, anywhere exotic? If you do let me know and I'll come visit!
Tomorrow is the cousin lunch, so I've got to try to go to sleep early so I can get my tush out of bed on time. Wish me luck!
Monday, October 23, 2006
Me and my big mouth
So, boring eh? Got the bill for the ambulance, they are not going to write it off (though I'll call BCBS again because they said they'd try to get them to write it off) to the tune of almost $500.
It seems they are not a PPO provider. Next time I'm about to die, I'll remember to go online first and find an in network provider. yea right. Blue Cross actually said that there are no PPO providers for ambulance in the state of Calif. So the ambulance wants to make lots of money, not just the pidley $750 my insurance already paid. Crazy.
Then for the first time I went on line to register my for my Shell card so I could pay on line. I have most of my other stuff on line but never did this credit card. Anyway, I get all registered, go on the part to make a payment and low and behold, it is almost $300 more than my statement that came in the mail said. So I looked at new activity and there are three charges in El Monte (you all know how often I go there) all on one day, each larger than the other. The final charge is an even $100.00 So of course I call customer service immediately. They said there was a red flag on my account already, and that she could see that it wasn't my normal pattern of purchases. She sent it to the fraud dept. but then tells me she can't pull it up so I need to fax what I have seen on line. Now wait a minute, she already said she could see it wasn't my normal purchase pattern, so how could she know that if she couldn't pull up those charges?
Then I had to force her to cancel my card...she actually had to go ask someone if she should. When I asked her what was going to happen, she said fraud should get back with me in 7 to 10 working days. I asked her if I would be responsible, and she said, "well usually when a card has been stolen or lost, the person doesn't have to pay. But since you still have your card, I don't know what will happen." As if I gave it to my friends and let them use it? And the fact that they have my number and she didn't want to cancel the card because it was still in my possession?
Yikes. I can already feel a fight coming on. I sure hope not. It would be nice to have things go easily for a change.
Kelly has to see the doc tomorrow. He has been having chest pains for a while now but neglected to tell me. They come and go, but it's making me nervous. When I called the doc today, they set the appt for Nov. then asked what it was for. When I told the receptionist, she was not going to let him wait. Good!!! So Kelly thinks it's stress. I hope so. But whatever it is, I hope they get to the bottom of it quickly and it gets taken care of.
Still no call from USC. I think they don't want me. I guess I'll wait a few more days then call them and see what's up. Hmmmmm. Other than other insurance issues I'm still working on from forever ago, I guess that's all. Only can handle so much at once! Ok, it's enough!
Joycie and Kim, I'll try to stick to boring, I like it better too!
It seems they are not a PPO provider. Next time I'm about to die, I'll remember to go online first and find an in network provider. yea right. Blue Cross actually said that there are no PPO providers for ambulance in the state of Calif. So the ambulance wants to make lots of money, not just the pidley $750 my insurance already paid. Crazy.
Then for the first time I went on line to register my for my Shell card so I could pay on line. I have most of my other stuff on line but never did this credit card. Anyway, I get all registered, go on the part to make a payment and low and behold, it is almost $300 more than my statement that came in the mail said. So I looked at new activity and there are three charges in El Monte (you all know how often I go there) all on one day, each larger than the other. The final charge is an even $100.00 So of course I call customer service immediately. They said there was a red flag on my account already, and that she could see that it wasn't my normal pattern of purchases. She sent it to the fraud dept. but then tells me she can't pull it up so I need to fax what I have seen on line. Now wait a minute, she already said she could see it wasn't my normal purchase pattern, so how could she know that if she couldn't pull up those charges?
Then I had to force her to cancel my card...she actually had to go ask someone if she should. When I asked her what was going to happen, she said fraud should get back with me in 7 to 10 working days. I asked her if I would be responsible, and she said, "well usually when a card has been stolen or lost, the person doesn't have to pay. But since you still have your card, I don't know what will happen." As if I gave it to my friends and let them use it? And the fact that they have my number and she didn't want to cancel the card because it was still in my possession?
Yikes. I can already feel a fight coming on. I sure hope not. It would be nice to have things go easily for a change.
Kelly has to see the doc tomorrow. He has been having chest pains for a while now but neglected to tell me. They come and go, but it's making me nervous. When I called the doc today, they set the appt for Nov. then asked what it was for. When I told the receptionist, she was not going to let him wait. Good!!! So Kelly thinks it's stress. I hope so. But whatever it is, I hope they get to the bottom of it quickly and it gets taken care of.
Still no call from USC. I think they don't want me. I guess I'll wait a few more days then call them and see what's up. Hmmmmm. Other than other insurance issues I'm still working on from forever ago, I guess that's all. Only can handle so much at once! Ok, it's enough!
Joycie and Kim, I'll try to stick to boring, I like it better too!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Sunday
Not much to say. It's been a slow weekend. We've done nothing. I did get some yard work done today, almost got the whole patio area cleaned, and trimmed the plants that grow along the patio. Got to hire someone to trim those trees, they are way too big.
Still waiting for USC to call, when I spoke to the lady on Tuesday, she said she'd call back later that day or the next day. That's how it's been every time I try to talk to them. Makes me very uneasy. But hopefully if you are actually a patient they will respond to you in a more timely manner.
My big yahoo this weekend was I got an attachment for my vacuum cleaner so that I can vacuum under the bed or the couch or wherever. I know I'm weird, but I've wanted that for so long. I can move the couch if I feel ok, but the bed is impossible. So now I can get rid of those dust bunnies hiding in the carpet. Yipee! There is something seriously wrong with me!
I also got a computer disc that has regular games on it, like chess, backgammon....even mahjongg (sp?). Maybe I can learn to play that, it looks way confusing. But now I'll have something else to do when I'm bored at night instead of writing these boring entries :)
k, off to do breathing treatments, pills, inhalers, shots, the vest and maybe eat. Hmmmm,
what to eat... night night.
Still waiting for USC to call, when I spoke to the lady on Tuesday, she said she'd call back later that day or the next day. That's how it's been every time I try to talk to them. Makes me very uneasy. But hopefully if you are actually a patient they will respond to you in a more timely manner.
My big yahoo this weekend was I got an attachment for my vacuum cleaner so that I can vacuum under the bed or the couch or wherever. I know I'm weird, but I've wanted that for so long. I can move the couch if I feel ok, but the bed is impossible. So now I can get rid of those dust bunnies hiding in the carpet. Yipee! There is something seriously wrong with me!
I also got a computer disc that has regular games on it, like chess, backgammon....even mahjongg (sp?). Maybe I can learn to play that, it looks way confusing. But now I'll have something else to do when I'm bored at night instead of writing these boring entries :)
k, off to do breathing treatments, pills, inhalers, shots, the vest and maybe eat. Hmmmm,
what to eat... night night.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
sad, confused and a mess
Ok, so I talked to USC and will be starting the evaluation process for transplant. (they have to verify my insurance will cover the tx and the prescriptions afterwards, before I can go in) Just typing that sentence is making me tear up again. I don't want to be sick. I don't want to have a transplant. I want to run up the street, and go skiing, and dance till I drip with sweat. Is that really so much?
If they say I qualify for a transplant, that they think it's time, what do I do? I know I still have a choice, but I don't feel like I do. I feel like I'm being led down a path that I don't want to take.
I just want to be ok now.
At my last visit with the CF doc's I got the one that feels like it's very close to time that I have a transplant if I'm going to. He tells me I'm very sick. (my words, not his) He tells me with all that he knows about me I will definitely qualify. But he tells me that I have to think about if I really want to live at all costs, because it is at all costs. It is very hard, painful, life altering, a new life long condition and possible death or a life that is worse than what I have now. He barely mentioned the upside as he doesn't seem to see it happen too often, or not for long. This is a doctor that I so respect and like, he's been a CF doc for about 30 years. He just lost a patient that was 29, and he said they started seeing her when she was 6 months old. He and the nurse were so sad. But I digress...
And then again we're back to what keeps going thru my brain. I like my life now. Things are getting harder. I get tired easier. I do less. But I'm fine with that...sometimes not...but ok enough that if it just would stay this way I'd be ok. Will it just stay this way? Do I risk it all? Do I risk hurting those I love or is not risking it risking it? I know I go over and over this, but it all seems so impossible. I don't want to wait too long, like my friend Katie, or Catharine. But I know so many whose transplant didn't work out for one reason or another.
I told someone recently that I have to take my oxygen with me when I go to the gym and she just laughed. You do? I felt sad that she laughed, it truly isn't funny. It's hard and embarrassing. I haven't even gone in probably a year or more because of it. I need to get in shape in case I do or don't have a transplant...if I don't I need to do what I can to be stronger. If I do, it's easier to recover from the surgery if you're stronger going in. I'm so weak it's pathetic.
All this began because of my anger and sadness over another bleed on Saturday night. It was small, but I'm so sick of it. This, after the discussion with my doctor has made me want to just stay in bed till it's over. Let someone else decide. Where the heck is my fairy godmother?
If they say I qualify for a transplant, that they think it's time, what do I do? I know I still have a choice, but I don't feel like I do. I feel like I'm being led down a path that I don't want to take.
I just want to be ok now.
At my last visit with the CF doc's I got the one that feels like it's very close to time that I have a transplant if I'm going to. He tells me I'm very sick. (my words, not his) He tells me with all that he knows about me I will definitely qualify. But he tells me that I have to think about if I really want to live at all costs, because it is at all costs. It is very hard, painful, life altering, a new life long condition and possible death or a life that is worse than what I have now. He barely mentioned the upside as he doesn't seem to see it happen too often, or not for long. This is a doctor that I so respect and like, he's been a CF doc for about 30 years. He just lost a patient that was 29, and he said they started seeing her when she was 6 months old. He and the nurse were so sad. But I digress...
And then again we're back to what keeps going thru my brain. I like my life now. Things are getting harder. I get tired easier. I do less. But I'm fine with that...sometimes not...but ok enough that if it just would stay this way I'd be ok. Will it just stay this way? Do I risk it all? Do I risk hurting those I love or is not risking it risking it? I know I go over and over this, but it all seems so impossible. I don't want to wait too long, like my friend Katie, or Catharine. But I know so many whose transplant didn't work out for one reason or another.
I told someone recently that I have to take my oxygen with me when I go to the gym and she just laughed. You do? I felt sad that she laughed, it truly isn't funny. It's hard and embarrassing. I haven't even gone in probably a year or more because of it. I need to get in shape in case I do or don't have a transplant...if I don't I need to do what I can to be stronger. If I do, it's easier to recover from the surgery if you're stronger going in. I'm so weak it's pathetic.
All this began because of my anger and sadness over another bleed on Saturday night. It was small, but I'm so sick of it. This, after the discussion with my doctor has made me want to just stay in bed till it's over. Let someone else decide. Where the heck is my fairy godmother?
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Rain?
What's the deal? Rain in October? It is supposed to be Santa Ana weather, not rain. But I love it. I love it for two reasons. One I just do. It is so pretty, cleans things up (although I don't know if we got enough for that) and sounds good on the patio roof. Two...I was going to work in the yard today and now I don't' have to!! I don't have to water either. Yahoo!
Kelly and I are having a lazy day. I told him he could be off the hook, since I kept him so busy with my stuff last weekend. But I can't stand to sit any more. So I vacuumed and am now doing some computer stuff. How can anyone sit all day? I don't get it!!
Riet, thanks for posting a comment on my blog. That's so cool you read it! If I had pic's of the wedding I'd send them to you. If she sends me any, I'll send you some. The girl who got married, her family is from Holland. I don't think she'd ever been there though. I have been once, I loved all the tulips at Kukenhof (sp?). It was beautiful.
All the rest of you out there, give me some comments...even if you just say, Carol, your writing is boring :)
Off to find something quiet to do so my hunny can continue on his day of TV! Bye
Kelly and I are having a lazy day. I told him he could be off the hook, since I kept him so busy with my stuff last weekend. But I can't stand to sit any more. So I vacuumed and am now doing some computer stuff. How can anyone sit all day? I don't get it!!
Riet, thanks for posting a comment on my blog. That's so cool you read it! If I had pic's of the wedding I'd send them to you. If she sends me any, I'll send you some. The girl who got married, her family is from Holland. I don't think she'd ever been there though. I have been once, I loved all the tulips at Kukenhof (sp?). It was beautiful.
All the rest of you out there, give me some comments...even if you just say, Carol, your writing is boring :)
Off to find something quiet to do so my hunny can continue on his day of TV! Bye
Monday, October 09, 2006
My weekend
I'm happy to say I had a very very nice weekend. I started it by having dinner with my cousin Darrell, his wife Hannah and their son Andrew and of course Kelly. I haven't seen my cousin for about 15 years I guess and have never met his wife and son. Andrew and I got along great, he's a cool kid. Hannah is so pretty and sweet, I guess she got all that Southern stuff being raised in Oklahoma. The weather was perfect, not to hot, not too cold, and the conversation was fun. They came to the house after for a while and Kelly regaled them with stories of Myth TV. Don't ask. He was very impressed that Hannah knew what he was talking about. When he talks to me my eyes glaze over and he can tell I'm thinking about, oh, dinner or a movie... sorry honey.
Saturday was Helen and Doug's wedding in Long Beach. It was very nice, the priest was great. Helen looked so beautiful, I guess it's a bride thing. Doug was looking very handsome himself.
The reception was in Orange at their friend's house. It was decorated so pretty, it could have been a show on HGTV. It was in the backyard and again the weather was just perfect. We didn't stay till it was dark, but I bet it would have looked wonderful then with all the lights and candles.
Michele, the maid of honor, has been a friend of mine since 3rd grade. She looked very beautiful, not much change since high school. Kelly and I had a great time talking to Michele and Jill and the people sitting at our table. The food was great and you know how I love food! They put little jars or pots of M&M's at each place setting so the next night I gave one to Andrew and it can't be opened! Everyone at our table tried it and it is impossible. I think Helen planned it this way and is laughing knowing no one can get their little gift open!
Sunday Kelly and I went looking at new homes. We found a bunch in Rancho in the foothills I guess. They started at a mere $850,000. It's ridiculous. Yes they were pretty and spacious, but my gosh, who buys those homes? Then we drove around Claremont and found an older home for sale. It was up in Clairavoya (sp?). It was a mere $767,000. But it at least had a beautiful view. I wonder how much fixing up it needs? So needless to say, we'll be staying here for a while, a long while!!!
Then we had dinner with the entire family, or most of the family, at Vinces. Andrew and I had fun flicking straw wrappers at the others. But I think I got him in trouble when he didn't quite know when to stop. Oops! Got to talk more with Darrell and Hannah. Kelly and I wish they lived here. We could move to Dallas if I never wanted to go outdoors during the humid season and what is that 9 out of 12 months? No thanks! After dinner, I needed a ride home as Kelly had left early so they took me, but we went to Starbucks first and it was nice to talk. Got to spend a little time with Vicki there too. Now they are off to the Grand Canyon and then Albuquerque for the Balloon Festival and then home. What a lot of driving! But I'm so glad they came.
Today the fun continued. I had lunch at my favorite place, Red Lobster, with two of my friends Cheryl and Susan. We haven't had lunch in a long time so it was great to catch up. They went to a movie, but I was so tired from the weekend, I came home. Did some errands and some chores then went to sleep. I think soon, I'll go back to sleep!
So that's my fun weekend! Tomorrow is off to the doc...no more fun! Back on the study drug, which while a pain is a good thing. The weather is getting cool and I love that! I might even pull out the Halloween decorations I feel so motivated after this weekend. Who needs stinkin therapy when you can just have fun instead?
(we missed you June) (you too Kofie)
Saturday was Helen and Doug's wedding in Long Beach. It was very nice, the priest was great. Helen looked so beautiful, I guess it's a bride thing. Doug was looking very handsome himself.
The reception was in Orange at their friend's house. It was decorated so pretty, it could have been a show on HGTV. It was in the backyard and again the weather was just perfect. We didn't stay till it was dark, but I bet it would have looked wonderful then with all the lights and candles.
Michele, the maid of honor, has been a friend of mine since 3rd grade. She looked very beautiful, not much change since high school. Kelly and I had a great time talking to Michele and Jill and the people sitting at our table. The food was great and you know how I love food! They put little jars or pots of M&M's at each place setting so the next night I gave one to Andrew and it can't be opened! Everyone at our table tried it and it is impossible. I think Helen planned it this way and is laughing knowing no one can get their little gift open!
Sunday Kelly and I went looking at new homes. We found a bunch in Rancho in the foothills I guess. They started at a mere $850,000. It's ridiculous. Yes they were pretty and spacious, but my gosh, who buys those homes? Then we drove around Claremont and found an older home for sale. It was up in Clairavoya (sp?). It was a mere $767,000. But it at least had a beautiful view. I wonder how much fixing up it needs? So needless to say, we'll be staying here for a while, a long while!!!
Then we had dinner with the entire family, or most of the family, at Vinces. Andrew and I had fun flicking straw wrappers at the others. But I think I got him in trouble when he didn't quite know when to stop. Oops! Got to talk more with Darrell and Hannah. Kelly and I wish they lived here. We could move to Dallas if I never wanted to go outdoors during the humid season and what is that 9 out of 12 months? No thanks! After dinner, I needed a ride home as Kelly had left early so they took me, but we went to Starbucks first and it was nice to talk. Got to spend a little time with Vicki there too. Now they are off to the Grand Canyon and then Albuquerque for the Balloon Festival and then home. What a lot of driving! But I'm so glad they came.
Today the fun continued. I had lunch at my favorite place, Red Lobster, with two of my friends Cheryl and Susan. We haven't had lunch in a long time so it was great to catch up. They went to a movie, but I was so tired from the weekend, I came home. Did some errands and some chores then went to sleep. I think soon, I'll go back to sleep!
So that's my fun weekend! Tomorrow is off to the doc...no more fun! Back on the study drug, which while a pain is a good thing. The weather is getting cool and I love that! I might even pull out the Halloween decorations I feel so motivated after this weekend. Who needs stinkin therapy when you can just have fun instead?
(we missed you June) (you too Kofie)
Sunday, October 01, 2006
October 1
Well it's the first of the month and I was going to start my new get fit program. I was supposed to at least go walking today. But I am so tired :( I didn't do much of anything. Figures!
I had a nice time yesterday. I got up early, 8am which for me is non existant, and went to get my hair done. I HAD to get it done and there were no more days as my hair person only works on Saturday. So I went straight from there to the bridal shower. It was really nice, lots of food, perfect weather for an out door garden shower and the bride seemed to be really pleased. There were the usual games and then my favorite, the opening of gifts. She got some great stuff. I hope the car was big enough! It was so funny and cute that they registered for the dog too so they got a new dog bed, dog bowl and two boxes of urine be gone. I got her one of those, had to, it cracked me up when I read that on the list!
Then home and not much else. Today I had all these plans, but my body said nope! The cats kept waking me up last night and this morning so I didn't get enough sleep. That just means my list for tomorrow is even bigger!
So, no one has a tree that they know the name of? I am taking some leaves to Mt. Fuji tomorrow to see if they can tell me what I have. I want my kid to have the coolest leaves.
Guess that's all. Talk to you all later.
I had a nice time yesterday. I got up early, 8am which for me is non existant, and went to get my hair done. I HAD to get it done and there were no more days as my hair person only works on Saturday. So I went straight from there to the bridal shower. It was really nice, lots of food, perfect weather for an out door garden shower and the bride seemed to be really pleased. There were the usual games and then my favorite, the opening of gifts. She got some great stuff. I hope the car was big enough! It was so funny and cute that they registered for the dog too so they got a new dog bed, dog bowl and two boxes of urine be gone. I got her one of those, had to, it cracked me up when I read that on the list!
Then home and not much else. Today I had all these plans, but my body said nope! The cats kept waking me up last night and this morning so I didn't get enough sleep. That just means my list for tomorrow is even bigger!
So, no one has a tree that they know the name of? I am taking some leaves to Mt. Fuji tomorrow to see if they can tell me what I have. I want my kid to have the coolest leaves.
Guess that's all. Talk to you all later.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Feeling ok
It's almost one week after surgery and I guess I'm back to normal. No problems like some of the other times, just still a bit of my back hurts around the area they were gluing. On one of my other blogs I said that I wasn't going to do this any more, but that was just a test to see if anyone was paying attention. Now I'm really, really not going to do this any more. Really..
Had breakfast/lunch with a friend today, Miss Cheryl. It was good to get out and about. We went to Target after and she did normal real shopping, I did shower and wedding shopping. Think I can make it to one without getting sick? Shower is Saturday and the wedding is next Saturday. I can do it, I'm sure of it! So far I've missed every party, shower and wedding I've been invited to this summer. Enough already!!
My cousins are coming out to visit next weekend. Not to visit me per se but I get to see them. I'll see Vicki and Doug and their son Darrell and meet his wife Hanna and their son Andrew. Andrew gets to go to Disneyland, that should be fun for him! Anyone have a 9 year old that wants to go to Disneyland with them? It would be cool for Andrew to have some company.
I guess there'll be a family dinner on Sunday. It's been a long time and it will be great to see them!
Hmmmm, what else? Nails and toes tomorrow...it's about time. I think my nails are going to fall off. Then my hair on Saturday before the shower. They are having a garden shower at 2, then change to go out on the town at 6. I think I'll stick to the garden shower. By 6 I'll be sleeping in my soup after getting up at 8 to get my hair done in time. But it's truly necessary, you should see my roots! If you live within a ten mile radius you probably can see my roots!
Ok, I think I'm rambling. I'm waiting for those circus peanuts.. And who told you about rule number 14? I disagree!! But I did take a nap today, was exhausted after getting up early and hanging out for a while. What a wimp I am!
Ok, guess that's all! Love you people!
Had breakfast/lunch with a friend today, Miss Cheryl. It was good to get out and about. We went to Target after and she did normal real shopping, I did shower and wedding shopping. Think I can make it to one without getting sick? Shower is Saturday and the wedding is next Saturday. I can do it, I'm sure of it! So far I've missed every party, shower and wedding I've been invited to this summer. Enough already!!
My cousins are coming out to visit next weekend. Not to visit me per se but I get to see them. I'll see Vicki and Doug and their son Darrell and meet his wife Hanna and their son Andrew. Andrew gets to go to Disneyland, that should be fun for him! Anyone have a 9 year old that wants to go to Disneyland with them? It would be cool for Andrew to have some company.
I guess there'll be a family dinner on Sunday. It's been a long time and it will be great to see them!
Hmmmm, what else? Nails and toes tomorrow...it's about time. I think my nails are going to fall off. Then my hair on Saturday before the shower. They are having a garden shower at 2, then change to go out on the town at 6. I think I'll stick to the garden shower. By 6 I'll be sleeping in my soup after getting up at 8 to get my hair done in time. But it's truly necessary, you should see my roots! If you live within a ten mile radius you probably can see my roots!
Ok, I think I'm rambling. I'm waiting for those circus peanuts.. And who told you about rule number 14? I disagree!! But I did take a nap today, was exhausted after getting up early and hanging out for a while. What a wimp I am!
Ok, guess that's all! Love you people!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Home again
I'm home. Came home yesterday. I couldn't write on the blog on Thursday because it was down, but Thrusday about 2 am I had a fairly large bleed. I did my good girl thing and called the doctor the next day, actually Thrusday morning and look what it got me. A trip to the hospital, surgery, pain, lots of throwing up (that's a new one) and more pain. But I'm home and all is well. The surgeon said he's so sad that he keeps seeing me, that most people have a few of these over their life time, never anyone having 5 embolizations in 8 months. But he found an artery that was, I forget how he put it, but he used the word aneurysm, so I guess it's good I went. I'm on IV's for a while now but I didn't do any after I got out of the club or today because I need to find out what is making me throw up. Like down to bile...ohhh, pretty pea green. YUCK!! I haven't thrown up since I was a small kid. Well, I did in July after being on the vent but I don't remember so it doesn't count. I don't know if it was the pain meds or the IV's. I've been on both before with no problem, but the pain med, which comes in a patch, looked a lot larger than what I remember having before. Maybe it was too strong. And the IV's, every time on I'm one they ask if I need something for being nauseas, and I say no. Well, maybe my body is tired of it and now it makes me sick? Who knows. But I've had a banana, a carnation instant breakfast and a little bit of potato and everything is staying put. So toned I'll try one IV, then start the next tomorrow. I'm hurting but I don't want to take any pain medic like I had before. Lynn just brought me a lidocain patch so that might help. It is for just the spot that hurts, not the blood stream. This time it's my back instead of my chest.
So that's it for me. I have been sleeping most of the time, I can't stay awake. I guess it's part of the healing process. Up for 30 minutes, asleep for hours. Hope that continues into tonite, so I can sleep all night. I missed a friends wedding today, I'm so bummed. I missed the shower because I was sick. ERRRR. I hope I get to see picutres.
Well, great. I just found out my best friend's brother is in the hospital, just up the street. They don't know if it's his heart, kidney stones, gall bladder....I'm hoping it's kidney stones, that's way easier than the heart. I'm not supposed to go to the hospital becasue of my ex but if my friend's daughter needs me, I'll go any way. I don't really care.
So I guess I'll go shower just in case, yes, it's 6:45 and I haven't showered yet. No smart elick remarks!!!:) Bye
So that's it for me. I have been sleeping most of the time, I can't stay awake. I guess it's part of the healing process. Up for 30 minutes, asleep for hours. Hope that continues into tonite, so I can sleep all night. I missed a friends wedding today, I'm so bummed. I missed the shower because I was sick. ERRRR. I hope I get to see picutres.
Well, great. I just found out my best friend's brother is in the hospital, just up the street. They don't know if it's his heart, kidney stones, gall bladder....I'm hoping it's kidney stones, that's way easier than the heart. I'm not supposed to go to the hospital becasue of my ex but if my friend's daughter needs me, I'll go any way. I don't really care.
So I guess I'll go shower just in case, yes, it's 6:45 and I haven't showered yet. No smart elick remarks!!!:) Bye
Thursday, September 21, 2006
not a fun night
Well here we are again. We have been talking about Kelly's job possibilities...meaning places he might apply, what that would mean in terms of where we live, what if he was gone a lot....
I keep telling him it doesn't matter because I'm alright. No more getting sick, at least not badly.
So about 2 am, I go to bed. Get out of chair, walk to bed room, lay down (lie down?), start gurggling, run to the bathroom and bleed for quite a while. After a few minutes, seemed like a lot of minutes, Kelly came in, got my 02 and my water. I kept telling myself not to panic. It was not the same as the other, I could still breathe even though there was blood, I was not going to pass out, I was going to be fine. When Kelly came in I just shook my head yes. He put his hand on my back and I knew he was feeling to see how bad it was. As it slowed down, I just sat in the front room for a while, was afraid to lie down. Kelly slept on the couch. Then I went to the bedroom and sat up reading. Finally, I don't know when, I started to slowly inch my way down and got to go to sleep.
It is such bad timing, I didn't want Kelly to worry about me when looking for a job. I want him to do what is best for his career, not what is best when he's worried about me. This is so frustrating.
I had a dentist appt this morning. I didn't go, didn't call, I don't care. I have to go back, my teeth are a mess! But I was afraid of how they lie you down so far that you feel like you're on your head. All I needed was to bleed at the dentist office. Had other things to do today, but I'm just taking it easy. A little picking up, I need to run a few errands, but mostly sitting pretty still.
As Kelly put it, just another day in the life of a CF'er.
I keep telling him it doesn't matter because I'm alright. No more getting sick, at least not badly.
So about 2 am, I go to bed. Get out of chair, walk to bed room, lay down (lie down?), start gurggling, run to the bathroom and bleed for quite a while. After a few minutes, seemed like a lot of minutes, Kelly came in, got my 02 and my water. I kept telling myself not to panic. It was not the same as the other, I could still breathe even though there was blood, I was not going to pass out, I was going to be fine. When Kelly came in I just shook my head yes. He put his hand on my back and I knew he was feeling to see how bad it was. As it slowed down, I just sat in the front room for a while, was afraid to lie down. Kelly slept on the couch. Then I went to the bedroom and sat up reading. Finally, I don't know when, I started to slowly inch my way down and got to go to sleep.
It is such bad timing, I didn't want Kelly to worry about me when looking for a job. I want him to do what is best for his career, not what is best when he's worried about me. This is so frustrating.
I had a dentist appt this morning. I didn't go, didn't call, I don't care. I have to go back, my teeth are a mess! But I was afraid of how they lie you down so far that you feel like you're on your head. All I needed was to bleed at the dentist office. Had other things to do today, but I'm just taking it easy. A little picking up, I need to run a few errands, but mostly sitting pretty still.
As Kelly put it, just another day in the life of a CF'er.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
My little world
Well, tomorrow was supposed to be cousin lunch. I've been working on the yard for two weeks, I've cleaned carpets and windows, (only 2) and I've cleaned house. But now there is no lunch!! Some people are sick, some have other appointments or engagements. We're going to try again next Wednesday. So, I have to watch for errant weeds for another week? I went out tonite and threatened the front yard that if weeds grew I'd just let everything die. I think the yard knew I was bluffing! Nothing like the motivation to get off my tush and keep the house clean! I think we should keep postponing for a few more weeks. I'd really get things done! I may just go ahead and make that desert tonite anyway, and eat it all myself. yummm
Kelly is doing better. He has resigned himself to the new position. He'll keep looking for new job opportunities, but until that happens he'll do the best he can with the new job. My sister brought over some books for Kelly to have on the matrix system and Kelly is learning as much as he can about it. He's a better man than I am. I'd be sulking still.
Saw Lynn last night. She and Kelly and I went out to eat and she helped me figure out how to put thread on a bobbin. It looks so easy after she did it. She just had her hair done yesterday. Man it looked so pretty. I wish I had her hair. I wouldn't know what to do with more than my six hairs. She should be on some shampoo commercial.
Other than that not much going on. I have a dentist appt on Thursday, my nails on Friday and my hair on Saturday. I'll be a new woman. Hope two days in a row of breathing chemicals doesn't cause an adverse reaction!
Oh, I also am participating in a Leaf Pals group. A woman I know is a teacher for a 3rd grade class. She does a leaf project each fall where the kids are hooked up with an adult pen pal who tells them about their state and sends leaves for the entire class. I don't know what they do with the leaves but I think it helps them share about their project. I have to find 32 leaves, preferably after they turn colors (yea right) and press them, huh? and then send them along with other goodies such as maps and info to the child. I'll also get letters from the child telling me about them. It should be fun. If any of you have great tree leaves and know the name of the tree let me know! I don't know the names of the trees on our street. And ours don't really turn colors, they more likely just die. I will have till the end of October to send them out. Before that will be letters and the other stuff I send. Maybe I'll go the the mountains and get pine needles too. The class is in Arizona, what kinds of stuff don't they have in Arizona that I could send?
I'll take all suggestions. I want my kid to have the coolest project!
So, I guess that's it. Bye
Kelly is doing better. He has resigned himself to the new position. He'll keep looking for new job opportunities, but until that happens he'll do the best he can with the new job. My sister brought over some books for Kelly to have on the matrix system and Kelly is learning as much as he can about it. He's a better man than I am. I'd be sulking still.
Saw Lynn last night. She and Kelly and I went out to eat and she helped me figure out how to put thread on a bobbin. It looks so easy after she did it. She just had her hair done yesterday. Man it looked so pretty. I wish I had her hair. I wouldn't know what to do with more than my six hairs. She should be on some shampoo commercial.
Other than that not much going on. I have a dentist appt on Thursday, my nails on Friday and my hair on Saturday. I'll be a new woman. Hope two days in a row of breathing chemicals doesn't cause an adverse reaction!
Oh, I also am participating in a Leaf Pals group. A woman I know is a teacher for a 3rd grade class. She does a leaf project each fall where the kids are hooked up with an adult pen pal who tells them about their state and sends leaves for the entire class. I don't know what they do with the leaves but I think it helps them share about their project. I have to find 32 leaves, preferably after they turn colors (yea right) and press them, huh? and then send them along with other goodies such as maps and info to the child. I'll also get letters from the child telling me about them. It should be fun. If any of you have great tree leaves and know the name of the tree let me know! I don't know the names of the trees on our street. And ours don't really turn colors, they more likely just die. I will have till the end of October to send them out. Before that will be letters and the other stuff I send. Maybe I'll go the the mountains and get pine needles too. The class is in Arizona, what kinds of stuff don't they have in Arizona that I could send?
I'll take all suggestions. I want my kid to have the coolest project!
So, I guess that's it. Bye
Thursday, September 14, 2006
pissy mood
It's been a really sucky day. Two doc appts, one painful. Seems like a day where everything you touch turns to crud. I seem to do that alot, must be me. I even managed to lose an entire blog entry. Correct spelling errors...hit...not delete...shoot.... and it had the best comment ever from my #1 fan. Maybe some day he'll give me a comment again.
Still no word from Nissan. So much for the "we'll fix it in 24 hours". Still no word from my perscription insurance. I sent in the perscription over 5 weeks ago. I keep calling. I keep having everyone tell me it's not acceptable that they don't know what the problem is. On Tuesday I spoke to a supervisor, who called back later that night and said the order was to be expidited...yea right. I'm supposed to start that medication tomorrow. As I said in my missing blog, of how I do 28 days study drug, then 28 days off. Well, tomorrow starts my 28 days off, in which I do another drug instead. Except, no drug. I'm so tired of this. We started this new great insurance on July 1st. Already they've changed 2 perscriptions supposedly with my doctors approval, my doc's say they've never heard from them, they had a delay of my Pulmozyme, and now they can't seem to send this. Of course both of the delays are the very expensive drugs. Pulmozyme is $1600 a month and this drug, colymycin is about $3500 a month. I suppose they think I'll give up. Wrong.
So that's it for me. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow has to be better or I'm crawling into bed after the doctor and giving up.
\
Still no word from Nissan. So much for the "we'll fix it in 24 hours". Still no word from my perscription insurance. I sent in the perscription over 5 weeks ago. I keep calling. I keep having everyone tell me it's not acceptable that they don't know what the problem is. On Tuesday I spoke to a supervisor, who called back later that night and said the order was to be expidited...yea right. I'm supposed to start that medication tomorrow. As I said in my missing blog, of how I do 28 days study drug, then 28 days off. Well, tomorrow starts my 28 days off, in which I do another drug instead. Except, no drug. I'm so tired of this. We started this new great insurance on July 1st. Already they've changed 2 perscriptions supposedly with my doctors approval, my doc's say they've never heard from them, they had a delay of my Pulmozyme, and now they can't seem to send this. Of course both of the delays are the very expensive drugs. Pulmozyme is $1600 a month and this drug, colymycin is about $3500 a month. I suppose they think I'll give up. Wrong.
So that's it for me. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow has to be better or I'm crawling into bed after the doctor and giving up.
\
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Nice and quiet
There is absolutely nothing going on. It is too darn hot to do anything out side. I'm hoping the weather man is right and it is in the 80's this weekend. 88 will feel so wonderful! My roses are calling me, but I can't get to them!
Wow, I really can't think of anything at all to say. Fine, guess I'll write when something is going on!
Hope everyone is having as quiet a time as we are, it's a good thing sometimes!
Wow, I really can't think of anything at all to say. Fine, guess I'll write when something is going on!
Hope everyone is having as quiet a time as we are, it's a good thing sometimes!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
It's all Kelly's Fault
Well, I've been doing ok, but not great. Feeling a little winded, but still going about my business. Then today on the phone Kelly asked me if I'd had any bleeds lately, since the 4 a couple weeks ago and the streaks last week. So I told him no I hadn't.
A little later he comes home, early from work ( he had to go to work at midnight tonite, he left about 11:30) anyway, he comes home and wouldn't you know it, I go to lay down for a little afternoon nap and here we go. I feel the gurgling. I run to the bathroom. It was only small but you know, it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't asked me that. I think he reminded my lungs about it. So he's not allowed to ask me any more!
I've got such a busy month coming up. I have 3 weddings, a shower, a 15th b-day party...this is sounding familiar, did I already complain about this? I've already missed a going away party (Allyson's) and a bridal shower (Nicky's) because of feeling like crap...how much more am I going to miss. I try to not be too tired, try to not need to sleep from running fevers, try not to bleed (darn you Kelly, hee e heee) but I don't know how I'll do this month. I even volunteered to have the cousin lunch at my house. Silly girl. But I can do it....I'm sure!
I have another dentist appt next week, I have two doc appts, let's see what else I can fit in.
Ok, I'm just rambling now. It's weird having Kelly gone at this hour. I should be hearing him snoring, instead the cat is. Oh well, let's see if I can go to sleep!
Oh, and by the way, Little Miss Sunshine, yes, Wicker Man, yes, Night Caller, yes, Beerfest, a big fat NOOOOOO. Sorry number one fan!
A little later he comes home, early from work ( he had to go to work at midnight tonite, he left about 11:30) anyway, he comes home and wouldn't you know it, I go to lay down for a little afternoon nap and here we go. I feel the gurgling. I run to the bathroom. It was only small but you know, it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't asked me that. I think he reminded my lungs about it. So he's not allowed to ask me any more!
I've got such a busy month coming up. I have 3 weddings, a shower, a 15th b-day party...this is sounding familiar, did I already complain about this? I've already missed a going away party (Allyson's) and a bridal shower (Nicky's) because of feeling like crap...how much more am I going to miss. I try to not be too tired, try to not need to sleep from running fevers, try not to bleed (darn you Kelly, hee e heee) but I don't know how I'll do this month. I even volunteered to have the cousin lunch at my house. Silly girl. But I can do it....I'm sure!
I have another dentist appt next week, I have two doc appts, let's see what else I can fit in.
Ok, I'm just rambling now. It's weird having Kelly gone at this hour. I should be hearing him snoring, instead the cat is. Oh well, let's see if I can go to sleep!
Oh, and by the way, Little Miss Sunshine, yes, Wicker Man, yes, Night Caller, yes, Beerfest, a big fat NOOOOOO. Sorry number one fan!
Monday, August 28, 2006
blog blog blog
I'm up early and nothing to do. I was supposed to go out with a friend, but she can't make it. But I didn't know that until now and I'm already ready. What to do? There's lots of house work to do, but I'm already all ready to go out. There's lots of yard work to do, but it's hot, blah.
I could go to the grocery store. That's always fun. Hmmmm. A movie? Nothing on.
Read my emails. Ok, guess I won't keep you all as bored as I am. Thing is if I sit still, I'll go back to sleep. Maybe I should just do that and re do my make up later.
I had a hard weekend. Felt sick all weekend. I felt like I was short of air and about to pass out all weekend. Not short of breath, which is different. I had this happen in the hospital, but only for a few hours, not for days. Today is better, not gone but better.
What else? I have no idea. I'll think of something really interesting to say and write later.
Bye
I could go to the grocery store. That's always fun. Hmmmm. A movie? Nothing on.
Read my emails. Ok, guess I won't keep you all as bored as I am. Thing is if I sit still, I'll go back to sleep. Maybe I should just do that and re do my make up later.
I had a hard weekend. Felt sick all weekend. I felt like I was short of air and about to pass out all weekend. Not short of breath, which is different. I had this happen in the hospital, but only for a few hours, not for days. Today is better, not gone but better.
What else? I have no idea. I'll think of something really interesting to say and write later.
Bye
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